Problems at work? Need advice? Our agony uncle – and readers – have the answer
• Need help? Email Jeremy at dear.jeremy@theguardian.com outlining your dilemma
My business has failed and I don't know what to do next
My wife and I recently decided to wind up a small ceramics business we had bought and run for five years. Despite our best efforts we simply could not make it work. The failure of what should have been a life-defining project has dealt a serious blow to our confidence and finances, and means I should probably return to a structured environment with reasonable pay.
I am something of a hybrid, being a creative, entrepreneurial and community-minded individual. Partly as a result of this I am struggling to find the direction in which to focus my efforts.
I am 49 and have sought help from various quarters, including networking, paying a career coach and making contact with recruitment companies. My instincts tell me to stick with what I know – making and selling high-end consumer goods – and to try to join a team in this area.
However, when I list my interests, without any preconceived ideas, there is a wide range including education, the built environment, design and current affairs.
My formative work experience was helping to create, grow and run a medium-size family business. What feels like an unstructured career also includes periods working for a management consultancy, French toy manufacturer and studying/living in Paris. By accident, I recently discovered a local charity and am also considering whether it may have a part-time role for me to help raise its profile.
Jeremy says
You describe yourself as something of a hybrid – and from what you write, that seems an understatement. I may be reading too much into this, but I found your last sentence particularly revealing. By chance, you hear about a local charity – and your immediate reaction is to wonder whether there might be a part-time role for you there. I find myself wondering if you've been reacting in a similar fashion for much of your working life. Because you never seem to have had a single, driving interest or ambition and because you're clearly competent in lots of different areas, you always seem to respond to random opportunities with an almost thoughtless optimism.
But none of them, it seems, has given you long-term satisfaction. If, as you believe, your strength lies in making and selling high-end consumer goods, it seems odd to get distracted by a local charity – when you don't appear to know whether this charity has a need for such a function.
I suspect the time has come for you to make an eyes-wide-open analysis of your strengths and weaknesses. If you encourage your wife to be absolutely honest, she could be hugely helpful here – however painful the process might be. My guess, based on nothing but your letter, is that while you like the idea of running your own show, you lack the steely determination and sense of realism to make a lasting go of things. I think you're a bit of a romantic, hoping and believing that creative ideas will sooner or later come good.
So I'm greatly encouraged that you should be thinking of a more structured way of life, joining an existing team. Your most valuable role, I believe, will be creative rather than executive. Not all your ideas will be practical. You need to work with a strong and disciplined CEO who backs the good ones and rejects the others.
Having been your own boss you may find this tough to accept, but I'm sure that your ambition to be a valued member of a successful team is where you should be directing all your energy.
Readers say
• Your skill set – being both business and community minded – makes me suggest you look at the non-profit sector. Charities increasingly need to turn to income generation and social enterprises to provide paid-for products and services, yet they can lack business attitude and know-how.
Talk to CEOs or board members of charities near you that are solving issues you feel passionate about – you might find a good fit as a social entrepreneur. You might be able to make a real difference to your community just by bringing your business mindset to services and products they have experience with on the ground. nturner30
I'm homesick but not sure how to find a job back in the UK
I am working in a project management role for an IT department in Switzerland. Initially, it was a fixed-term temporary contract, but when it was converted to permanent earlier this year it made me realise I was desperately homesick and wanted to come back.
I am single, in my late 40s, I don't love my job and the environment here is challenging, both in and out of work. This has been made worse after a recent run-in with a more senior colleague, with whom I previously had a good working relationship.
I don't know whether to take a lower-paid, lower-status job just to get back to the UK; come back without a job and hope a contract will come up; or hang on until an appealing permanent role comes up, risking becoming even more unhappy – and older – here.
If I move for just any job I'll be 50 before I start trying to get into another career, and I don't know if that's too late. I don't have a particular specialism – or solid assets – behind me.
Jeremy says
My strong instinct is that you're not going to sort out the rest of your life while brooding and feeling homesick, and becoming less and less decisive.
I think you should come back to the UK as soon as you practically can. Don't be too fussy about the first job you take: it doesn't have to be permanent and it doesn't have to be a blot on your CV either. Just give yourself a little time to enjoy your return and think more positively about what to do next.
You talk about embarking on another career. I'm not sure whether you plan to stay in IT or not. But as you know better than I do, IT covers a huge range of tasks and sectors and you should explore all those on offer before deciding to change course completely.
The main thing is to regain your sense of optimism. I'd be pretty sure that, once you're back and away from a work environment you find oppressive, you'll find that your future looks a great dealt more appealing.
Readers say
• You seem to be undergoing a mid-life crisis: understandable given your job dissatisfaction. But to leave a steady job for such uncertainty does nothing to take the years off and will only make your decision look weak to potential new employers. "Homesickness" may not read like the kind of quality recruiters appreciate. Far better to address two things first : what else can make you feel like embarking on new horizons at your age (after all, you are the new 39), and how can you leave Switzerland for a new job rather than in hope of one. Houseproud
• Don't let go of one branch before grabbing the next one. At least you are getting paid in a hard currency. And the trains run on time. Coolhandluke77
For Jeremy's and readers' advice on a work issue, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that Jeremy is unable to answer questions of a legal or contractual nature or to reply personally.